This article is a summary of the period from March 5, 2023, to March 18, 2023.
Scene#
Looking at this long river, my mother sometimes tells me that she has never seen a river as beautiful, majestic, and fierce as the Mekong River in her entire life. The Mekong River and its tributaries surge through here, flowing into the ocean, and this vast expanse of water disappears into the depths of the ocean. These rivers flow at an extremely fast speed on the boundless plain, rushing like a torrent, as if the earth itself is tilted.
......The rapids are so fierce and powerful that they can wash away everything, even rocks, a cathedral, or a city. Under the river, there is a storm raging. The wind is howling.
Excerpt from "Lover"
The vast lake surface is shimmering, reflecting the colors of the sky, and birds freely soar and play in the reeds between the water and the sky. The villages piled up on the distant water's edge appear narrow and cramped.
This scene was experienced while touring the West Lake in Dali Erhai. We were in the middle of the lake, surrounded by vast lake surfaces, watching the free birds. In that moment, what I felt was: humans are trapped on a small and crowded land, how pitiful.
Life#
Due to a sprained foot in early March, I had to temporarily end my life of traveling. Journeys have an end, but journeys will also begin.
Another Trip to Cangshan Mountain#
Last weekend, I went to Cangshan Mountain again. During my previous visit to Dali, the wind was very strong, and the cable car only operated halfway up the mountain. So this time, I wanted to make up for the regret of not reaching the mountaintop before. While waiting for the cable car, Ada asked me if I knew I would come to Cangshan Mountain this time, would I still come last time? I thought about it, and rationally speaking, if I could foresee the future, I probably wouldn't. But in the end, there were too many coincidences behind the decision, and at that moment, I couldn't say no.
So what were the coincidences? It's actually mentioned in the previous weekly report, my foot was sprained. If it wasn't for the sprained foot, I originally planned to hike Bird Hanging Mountain. But now, with this foot, walking more than ten kilometers on foot is not taking good care of my body. So, as a second choice, I chose to visit Cangshan Mountain Scenic Area. Apart from the cable car, it takes about three kilometers of walking and a climb of two hundred meters (fortunately, no heavy load is required, thanks to Vico).
But I also understand that what a sprained foot needs the most is rest, and climbing Cangshan Mountain is already a big burden. In fact, when I came to Cangshan Mountain last time, my body was also very strained. It was in December last year, just a few days after I was infected with Covid-19, and my condition had not yet recovered. And this time, it was the fourth day after the ligament sprain. It was not easy to come to Dali, and I didn't want to leave too many regrets. Of course, one reason is that I always feel that my subconscious has a kind of instinct to seek death, and that "she" in my subconscious does not cherish her own life at all. I am practicing "I want to show you the game of life" in a defiant manner to mock the absurdity of life, but at the same time, like Don Quixote, I have no idea what I am fighting against.
There Really is a Free Lunch#
For some reason, vegetarian food is popular in Dali, and many of them are free. However, there are many rules for free vegetarian meals, such as not talking during meals, eating all the food, and drinking all the soup. But no matter what the rules are, there really is a free lunch. Some people elevate this to the level of UBI, and I understand this romantic sublimation. I also have some imagination about public life in temples and religions. In folk stories like Lin Jiaotou Fengxueshan Temple, there is often a scene of "staying overnight in a dilapidated temple". Temples play the role of a free and unlicensed public space. For example, during the New Year, people go to temples to worship, pray for blessings, and remove feudal superstitions. This is also a common spiritual connection in society, and often the prayers reflect the common concerns, fears, and wishes of the whole society. But I often doubt myself and think that my fantasies are too unrealistic. So, with an attitude of integrating knowledge and action, this time I also experienced a free vegetarian meal.
In summary, it is still the same old saying: ideals are ideals, reality is reality. From queuing up to eat, the TV has been playing lectures from many years ago, talking about the ethics and morals of rulers, fathers, and sons. "Having a daughter is worthy of humanity, having a son is worthy of ancestors..." In addition, it seems like someone is constantly watching while eating, supervising whether you are wasting food. If I am indoctrinated with this kind of ideology in a strong and rough manner, and I can only eat free food in this way, it is a meager meal for me. Of course, I understand that many people can ignore these words, and I still need to learn this wisdom.
In addition to this, it is worth mentioning that while queuing for food, I saw a person in slippers, with torn clothes, and hair that seemed unwashed for a long time, in a very hippie/backpacker style, also queuing up. And after finishing the meal, I saw someone coming to the restaurant and asking what time would be suitable to come if they wanted to wash dishes.
The Cycle of Life#
Last weekend, I went home to the hospital to visit my grandmother. Combined with some exchanges and interactions with younger friends in the past two weeks, I can't talk about too many details, but I clearly felt the majestic power of life changing and some changes in my own mentality. Especially when I was still immersed in the heavy mood about my grandmother's condition, suddenly having some communication with younger lives was a kind of redemption for me. "We will eventually die, but there will always be young people." In that moment, I understood this sentence better.
And the change in my mentality refers to the many whims that I may have disliked in the past, but now I am increasingly able to appreciate the self-consciousness behind them. Each generation has its own wisdom and burdens. I am increasingly choosing to believe.
Health#
After the trip to Yunnan, I went to the hospital and visited the Sports Medicine Department. At least for the next two weeks, I plan to continue to rest and walk less. The doctor prescribed a flurbiprofen gel patch, which has a very good effect on relieving soft tissue pain.
The ribs are still not completely healed, and there is still slight pain when turning over, pressing, or stretching. However, compared to before, the pain is almost not affecting normal activities.
Input and Output#
Recently, I watched a movie called "Cinema Paradiso", combined with friends around me, and some documentary stories I have seen before. The biggest feeling is still that beauty is definitely a curse for women, especially when beauty does not match their social status, especially when they are in an unhealthy society.
I am currently reading the novel "Lover" by Duras. The world of literature is so beautiful.