This is a summary of the period from March 26, 2023, to April 1, 2023.
Writing#
Excerpt and Appreciation#
"The person walking downhill is a young man. He carries a bucket of manure on his shoulder, with a dirty towel wrapped around his head. His face is rosy, with plump cheeks and bright eyes. His feet wobble as he walks downhill, supporting the weight on his shoulders. He is a toilet cleaner, or rather, a person who cleans up manure, wearing rubber-soled socks and tight blue pants. As a five-year-old, I watched him with curious eyes, feeling an incredible call from the darkness. At that time, I couldn't be sure what it meant, I only knew that there was a primitive power that inexplicably called out to me. This enlightenment first appeared in a man who cleaned up manure, which was quite symbolic. Because manure is a symbol of the earth, this call must be the malicious love of Mother Earth.
I had a premonition that there was a burning desire in the world. I looked up at the young man's dirty figure, and my heart was gripped by a strong desire—I wanted to become him, I wished I was him. "I clearly remember that this desire had two focal points, one was the tight blue pants he was wearing, and the other was his profession. The tight blue pants clearly outlined the shape of his lower body, as if it was soft and elastic, walking towards me. I had an indescribable longing for tight pants. I didn't know the reason at that time."
—Excerpt from Yukio Mishima's "Confessions of a Mask"
Mishima's writing style is widely recognized as beautiful, and when I read "Confessions of a Mask," I truly felt the chilling beauty of his descriptions. I didn't come across any new passages worth noting this week, so I decided to excerpt and appreciate some passages I had read before.
This book is autobiographical in nature, and this passage describes the primal impulse that young Mishima felt when he saw a man cleaning up manure. It is a description of simple vitality that I really like. It vividly portrays the impulsive curiosity of his childhood—"an incredible call," "a burning desire," "soft and elastic, walking towards me," "indescribable longing." But at the same time, it adds a sense of depth to this desire from a retrospective perspective—"the malicious love of Mother Earth," "I didn't know at that time."
Imitation and Creation#
Leaning against the back seat of the car, I stared blankly at the passing streetlights above the window. As the hustle and bustle of the day gradually receded, the old alleys of the capital city quieted down first. In the dark and clean night sky, warm-colored lights exuded a sense of tranquility and peace. Suddenly, I was gripped by a strong assertion—the end of time is emptiness, and summer is really here now.
This passage describes a scene that I suddenly felt while sitting in a DiDi car and looking out the window at night.
Sidebar: This section used to be called "Scenes," but now it seems more like a general writing exercise rather than just scenes, so I renamed it to "Writing" and divided it into two subsections: "Excerpt and Appreciation" and "Imitation and Creation."
Life#
This week marks the end of the first quarter of the year. After reviewing the annual plan I made at the beginning of the year, I feel that the progress is not satisfactory. I need to have a more detailed plan for my life. As for this week's life, I basically stayed at home, and my daily routine was still a mess. I had hoped to do more exercise this week, but it didn't happen. I tried to go to the outskirts of Beijing to see the peach blossoms and get away from the oppression of the city, but it turned out that the peach blossoms had almost all fallen after about three days. The weather has been cloudy and cold, without any sunshine. It sounds really depressing this week.
This week, I have been pondering a question repeatedly, "If I knew what would happen today two years ago, would I still have been so determined?" To be honest, I probably wouldn't. But it's not because of today two years later, but because of the me two years ago. So, on the other hand, I am very grateful that I didn't know what would happen today two years ago.
In addition, following the trend of AI, I have had several discussions about AI with different people this week, and even talked until three in the morning at a camping site over the weekend (then I was sleepy while driving the next day). Overall, I am obviously pessimistic about the role of AI in promoting fairness and justice, and my mindset is gradually shifting to "regardless of the raging flood behind it." Another insightful realization is that when "which part of the work can be replaced by AI" is clearly placed in front of us, we are forced to think about what is truly important to ourselves, and this answer is the foundation of our existence, or rather, the foundation that allows us to deceive ourselves and get through this short life.
Input and Output#
Originally, I thought it was another week without reading books or doing much writing (except for my diary), but during the review process, I suddenly realized... does drawing count? This week, I suddenly had the enthusiasm to return to being a soulful artist and drew two small pictures—one is the NFT commemorating Crossbell's first anniversary (Yay! Crossbell is about to celebrate its first anniversary), and the other is an "Copywriting Master" badge NFT for @song.
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Crossbell's First Anniversary
(If you really think the first anniversary NFT is ugly, please ask @niannian to draw another one, please don't scold me) -
"Copywriting Master" For @song (Note: The squirrel is the original avatar that @song drew for himself, and I only drew the "banner" in the top left corner)