This article is a summary of the period from April 2, 2023, to April 15, 2023.
Life#
There have been a lot of miscellaneous matters in both life and work over the past two weeks, with many long stories but not knowing where to start. Sleep is still being squeezed, and there are still many unanswered questions. After more than three years, I came to HK again, the building is tall, and the rain is heavy.
Some reflections on the so-called Web3 industry#
I increasingly understand the so-called Web3: project teams look at investors, investors don't understand the projects, and in the end, everyone looks to Vitalik; or project teams look at token holders, token holders look at token prices, and in the end, they try to open a slot machine at the casino.
It's tasteless.
Maybe I will be angry, but in fact, no matter how this industry is, it will not hurt my heart because I strongly believe in myself. If you say Web3 is like this, fine, then I will do Web4. What the world is like doesn't mean what it should be like. Since I have had this belief, I have never hesitated for a second.
But still, I can't help but sigh—it's really lonely.
Another reflection is when reading "The History of Internet Evolution," I unexpectedly, but not surprisingly, found many similarities between Web3 and early Web1. They are both naive and sophisticated, a time when ideals and scams are intertwined. So don't talk about the unfinished ambitions of the Internet, as if there were really ambitions but they slowly died out—it's never been mainstream to have those so-called ideals that were entrusted with beautiful fantasies. We can never go back to anywhere.
I insist on forcing myself#
It's as if I have to find a way to acknowledge that all of this is my own choice. To have or to lose, to struggle or to sink, to resist or to endure... it's all my own choice. This is my way of storytelling. I guess I can't accept the idea of having no choice at all. For me, a life like that is not worth living. Even if I have to keep pushing the rock endlessly, it must be my own choice (I feel like I have mentioned Sisyphus many times in my blog... I really like this story).
Is this pessimism or optimism?
I have indeed pondered this question, but I haven't come up with a definitive answer. The final conclusion is probably that the binary division of personality is unreasonable. If I have to make a judgment, my self-identity is that of a pessimistic idealist.
Even if it's deception or performance, I must choose pessimism. I must deceive myself to believe that all beings are suffering without redemption. It seems that only by thinking this way can I find redemption. Only when all meaning is dissolved and only suffering remains, can I feel safe enough. And then, in this state, I can say that I want to pursue the light.
Oh, you see, I always say that we should meet in a place without darkness, but actually, what I want is to indulge in the darkness, experiencing all the struggles and pains, and then telling myself that freedom comes at a price.
Input and Output#
As mentioned above, this week I have been reading "The History of Internet Evolution" and have read about half of it. It's quite enlightening, and I plan to organize my reading notes later.
In addition, two weeks ago, I watched Easy Rider, which tells the story of the confused and psychedelic generation in the United States in the 1960s. I don't know if it's because of the influence of this movie or because I feel a stronger sense of relaxation and freedom in HK, or maybe it's just the way the current era is, I have been more frequently caught in a social confusion.
Alcoholic? But at that time, I really wanted a drink.
I kind of want to reread J.D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye."
This weekly report may sound a bit sad... I haven't been in a good state recently. Ah, let's talk about something happy! I recently started learning Cantonese on Duolingo (it's also part of my input). I've wanted to learn Cantonese for many years, and finally, I've taken a little action.